Recovering

This past Thursday I went for what was to be my final rehab appointment.  E and I discussed where I am and where I want to be and agreed that the I can take the last steps to recovery on my own.  E’s support has been so essential I feel a kind of leaving home feeling, but the door is open if I need her again even just a bit of supportive good cheer and advice.

E also encouraged me to have my yoga instructor call her if she has any questions about what I can and should not be doing quite yet.  I can’t say enough about the good physical therapists I have been lucky enough to have help me.

 

Progress in Healing

Last Thursday, I went to see my doctor for what turned out to be my last scheduled visit with him for treatment of my bi-lateral fractures and the last set of X-rays.  Dr A was pleased with my progress, indicating that my bones are completely healed.  He then asked if I had any questions.  He was, I think, a little too happy to refer all my questions to physical therapy but was also happy with my progress and expressed delight that I was taking yoga twice a week. When I thanked him for all his help, he insisted that he had done nothing, it was my cooperation and follow-through that had sped my healing.  Nice, but without his guidance I would be limping more than I am.

My next stop Thursday afternoon was physical therapy.  The therapist who had seen me through so much of my recovery has returned from her maternity leave so after a quick catch up we got started. The therapist I had while E was out was good, too, but I was grateful to work with someone familiar with my particular issues even as I added new exercises to my established routine.

While I have given up my cane, I still want it now and then at the end of the day when my back aches from the swaying as I walk once I get tired.  I also want the cane to smash into the hoods of cars that insist on their right of way when I am waiting to cross the street.  I know I am hesitant as I cross certain streets, most hesitant when the cross walk is at a corner where cars can turn right on red or, even when it is prohibited, they turn right on red.  Cars rule because they are bullies. 

Risk Management here at my office has a distracted driving awareness campaign this month. The campaign includes lots of posters about how one’s brain is working on a conversation, one is not paying attention to the road.   I don’t know what the driver who hit me was doing or thinking, but I do know he claimed he didn’t see me and I think he is telling the truth, except he should have seen me, he was driving, he had a red light and he was obligated to watch the road.

My thighs, hamstrings are still screaming when I try to squat all the way down.  Every day I hope I have healed a bit more when I do a partial squat to feed my cats or clean their litter box.  I have yoga exercises to strengthen my legs and I have physical therapy exercises for them, too.  There is some overlap and I tend to think of the pt exercises in terms of yoga poses.  I work out for several minutes at work and then at home while I am doing household chores. I bought a small kneeling bench from a seed company to help me garden and I find kneeling is not so bad if I take my time and lower myself slowly to the cushion.  On the other hand, there are chores that I can do more efficiently from a squatting position.  I am still working on those muscles and acknowledge that my response is not just to pain, but to fear of pain.

We have hired a wonderful woman to clean our house once a week.  C does the things I still can’t do so well myself, such as cleaning the oven…can’t get down there, and the tub, etc. 

My camera still mocks me when I juggle into a position to take a photo.  My balance is still an issue ( no tree poses yet) and I often surprise myself when I am composing a photo through the lens and lose my balance.  But I am trying to stay positive and think now and then how far I have come and not on how far I have yet to go.  I am working to avoid sabotaging my recovery.

Polar Bears

Our cat naps in the sunshine to warm herself, but she keeps her head under a bookcase to cover her eyes.  I suppose that is what the polar bear is doing here, or maybe he is just in denial about global warming.

Sun Worship?

Legendary & Seductive Chalmers Street

I lived in Charleston for only a handful of years but the place left a mark on me and I love it still.

Legendary & Seductive Chalmers Street.

Forty-two percent

My plan was to tell the story of my recovery in chronological order, but now I want to skip ahead and then, maybe, return to the story in a day or two.

Tuesday my therapist and I evaluated my progress.  I have recovered roughly forty-two percent of the physical ability I had prior to being hit.  Of course I thought I was doing way better than that until I realized that I had answered all the questions according to how my body felt and responded….given that a full recovery can take eight to twelve weeks, I am doing pretty well, getting around on a cane, returned to work part-time. I just wanted to be top of my class!

I cannot walk a mile yet without difficulty.  I can almost make a mile on the treadmill but that is not the same as our bumpy sidewalk.  I cannot kneel or squat down without considerable pain.  I also lose my balance when I squat down too far.  I cannot run on even ground or uneven ground.

But I am able to prepare our meals, go for walks around the block and generally enjoy life more that I could even just a couple of weeks ago.  So, here I am back from another therapy session, hopeful as ever.

October 2

Watching the protests in New York, I am reminded that today is Gandhi’s birthday/International Non-Violence Day.
When I was at Candler School of Theology, I was invited to the celebration of Gandhi’s birthday at the King Center and attended the celebration with a friend who had worked with Mrs King.
It was a very moving experience but most moving was a speech by Mrs King about how Gandhi was affected by the English women who were demonstrating for the vote while he was a student in England.
My prayers that we remain non-violent, but also that we are able to affect a change in our government and in how we do business.

Forty Days and Nights

I had hoped to do some drawing and writing while I was in the nursing home, to reclaim a part of myself that I have neglected for a long time.  What else did I have to do?  What I found instead is that my brain simply did not function like I had assumed it would.  I was focused on my recovery. Any time I had not dealing with ordinary activities of daily living was either spent working on reclaiming my legs, at least their range of motion, or struggling to suppress the plague of “what if’s” that stirred in my brain.  My daughter-in-law reminded me that my recovery was not a vacation and she was not surprised that I couldn’t do any artwork….normal life is required for that, at least for some of us.

I keep a daily journal more or less and rereading it I find good and bad experiences, if not in equal measure, close to it.  I met some wonderful people and some not so wonderful people.  This nursing home was probably not that different from any other nursing home.  Maybe I will write some stories out of some of my experiences, some are good stories, but anyone who has been in a nursing home or has had a loved one in a nursing home can tell stories and some of them will be much like mine.

I cannot say enough about physical therapy’s benefits.  The therapists who worked with me helped keep me saner than I would have been otherwise and kept my spirit from sinking too far down.  A long chat with the chaplain was also helpful to me.

Early in July, beginning my second month  in the nursing home a dear friend died.  She had been in a medically induced coma while her doctors tried to diagnosis what was going on with her and when, what they feared most was confirmed, she was allowed to die.  My brother and his wife attended her funeral in West Virginia.  I still find it hard to believe that she is gone.  Her death and our inability to see her before she died is one of the painful regrets of my confinement.

Many friends visited me.  One friend from work brought me some vegan treats which were wonderful and another friend brought me vegetarian meals about once a week or so.  I am still amazed that the home couldn’t figure out what to feed me.  Given budget issues I would think beans and rice would be at the top of their lists of proteins, but not so.

My boss brought me a loner computer  with access to the internet.  Hurray.   Since I am rambling here, I will stop for now.